As Chesapeake Energy Corp. struggles to contain a massive spill of toxic, hydraulic fluids yesterday at a natural gas fracking site in Pennsylvania, it also is struggling to explain how this dangerous event happened and how they are handling it. I mean, how do you explain away the poisoning of water supplies, waterways and farmers’ fields?

Of course, you can’t explain it away, but Chesapeake tried anyhow. They put out a news release that makes jaws drop and eyeballs roll. Fortunately, the group American Rivers was able to translate the release so that we all can read between the lines and understand what Chesapeake is really saying. Prepare to laugh and cry.