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Friday Finds: SpongeBob's Global Warming Conspiracy


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11 August 2011, 4:41 PM
Food foraging, corporate greenwashing, big rig gas sipping
SpongeBob SquarePants is in hot water for talking to kids about climate change. Photo courtesy of gnislew

FOX News attacks climate change believing sponge
A sea sponge is the latest target of the FOX News climate denial-sphere, reports ThinkProgress. In a recent episode of FOX and Friends, the hosts rip into the popular kids’ cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants for its segment on climate change, which points to humans as the source of Earth's carbon woes. Fox personality Gretchen Carlson and others chastise the cartoon for looking at only “one point of view”—that is, humans are the primary cause of global warming by releasing millions of tons of carbon dioxide into the air. Though this view is held by 97 percent of climate scientists, the browbeating does make for a nice segue into FOX’s other favorite past time—criticizing publicly funded agencies like the Department of Education for pushing anti-American agendas like global warming. The DOE’s latest transgression? Handing out Nickelodeon books at an event that pushes “unproven science” about climate change onto children.

New York stops foragers in their food finding tracks
Foraging for food in outdoor spaces like Manhattan’s Central Park and Brooklyn's Prospect Park is on the uptick, and it’s riling New York City park officials, reports the New York Times. As the latest foodie trend picks up steam, public parks are taking a hit in the form of lost plants, trees and even animals, whose loss negatively impacts the overall ecosystem. “I have caught [foragers] leaving the park with coolers full of fish and turtles,” says Beverly McDermott, director of Friends of Kissena Park in Flushing, Queens. But as long as NYC foragers show some restraint, they shouldn't fret too much. Though foraging is technically illegal in NYC's parks, it seems more likely that they'd suffer the wrath of a poisonous mushroom than being thrown behind bars anytime soon.

ALEC sponsors take greenwashing to the extreme
A number of corporate giants that have publicly touted their carbon-cutting abilities are secretly funding a right-wing group that denies the threat of climate change, reports ThinkProgress Green. Walmart, UPS, Bayer and AT&T are just some of the corporations that have publicly acknowledged the threat of climate change while funding the American Legislative Exchange Council or ALEC, which not only denies the threat of global warming, but goes so far as to suggest that “substantial global warming is likely to be of benefit to the United States.” Corporate entities like Kraft and Spectra Energy go even further with their greenwashing  by being members of the Carbon Disclosure Project, a global climate change reporting system, while giving large sums of money to a supposedly nonpartisan organization that seeks to eliminate any regulations that would actually decrease carbon emissions.

Obama keeps on truckin’ to increase vehicle fuel efficiency
Truckers nationwide are getting an energy efficiency boost, reports the Los Angeles Times. This week, President Obama announced the first efficiency standards for long-haul rigs, work trucks and heavy-duty vehicles that will cut fuel consumption and greenhouse gas emissions nine to 23 percent by 2018, depending on the vehicle. That’s no small potatoes considering that trucks, which make up less than 5 percent of the domestic vehicle fleet, use about 20 percent of all vehicle fuel. As the Times points out, though many Republicans and corporate lobbyists are quick to label environmental regulations like fuel efficiency standards as “job-killers,” the auto industry is arguing that these new rules could actually both cut carbon emissions and create jobs—meaning that Americans can have green and go green all at the same time.

 

Even the remaining CO2 Crisis believers don’t believe in Climate Change themselves, for if they did, they and the thousands of saintly scientists would be marching and crying about the worst planetary emergency ever; Climate Crisis. Besides a comet hit, NOTHING could be worse than a climate crisis. NOTHING! If the scientists themselves believed it, they would be marching and crying and warning the world and be all over CNN and actually ACTING like it’s a real crisis. And since the scientists strangely outnumber the protesters, we former believers smell a rat. We former believers are the real planet lovers for we don’t wish and pray and hope for this misery to have been true. So until we see the believers and scientists acting like it is the crisis they all say it is, we former believers accuse the lab coat consultants of exaggeration, opportunism and exploitation. And here is the proof of exaggeration; the scientists all had their own special and unique and personal definitions of Human CO2’s effects. This wasn’t science, it was a consultant’s w*t-dream.
The new denier is anyone who thinks the former believer majority of voters you see now, will vote YES to taxing the air to make the weather colder. And since Obama never even mentioned the crisis in his last state of the union address with no reaction from the blood sucking scientists, we declare climate blame dead. REAL planet lovers are happy for the planet avoiding a crisis. You fear mongering liars of CO2 environMENTAL ism are being cursed in the history books.

The insurance companies are not confused about this issue.
If the Federal government is going to privatize something, it should privatize risk for weather related loss and damage. No crop insurance, no rebuilding after "natural" disasters. Nothing. Let the insurance companies, who we will refuse to bailout, take the liability.
The Republicans should embrace this plan. The fact is that any research into what the insurance industry thinks about massive and increased loses due to weather will lead to the conclusion that they do not think this is a theory. They think this is a disaster, and are very interested in solutions, not your worn out rhetoric.
The Republicans are very aware of the insurance industry concerns. When the insurance industry gets a cold, the Republicans sneeze.
If there is no problem here, then this plan should be embraced by those who will profit the most from a climate hoax. The fact is that the insurance industry perceives big trouble because of the freaky weather. They know the amount and size of claims are increasing.

We must believe.
We must trust the carbon trading markets and corporations and politicians to manage the temperature of the planet.
We must call it consensus even though all of the thousands of consensus scientists all have their own special, personal and unique views of CO2 climate crisis.
We must trust the good and trustworthy politicians who promise to lower the seas and make the weather colder by taxing the air.
We must continue to believe in climate change crisis despite Obama not even mentioning the crisis in his state of the union address.
We must believe in climate change even though the number of consensus scientists vastly outnumbers the marching climate change protesters.
We must believe in climate change h e l l and spread our love for the planet as we condemn billions to a CO2 death just to make sure the kids turn the lights out more often and vote progressive when they reach voting age.
We must believe even though the thousands of consensus scientists refuse to march in the streets themselves. Don't they have families to save too?
Believe. Believe. Believe so we can defeat the evil bible thumping necons and those ignorant of the ways of THE SCIENCE! Praise be to the SCIENCE.

I am saved by the truth. Thanks for that.
Now you must convince the insurance companies, who are concerned that they are about to loose their ass(sets)from the weather related claims. You might ask your Republican representatives about that little concern that their main benefactors have. They actually do know what is going on, in spite of the public denial.
Once again, many thanks.
Since you brought it up, exactly what part of the Bible do the neocons read??? I have not heard that term neocon for a while.... Must have been since that Weapons of Mass Destruction CRUSADE and Torture Lite Program we are all still paying for...
Some of us are still paying anyway...... You know, the little people. But we do have a new Burger King in Irag. That must be worth something.
Praise the Lord.

I'm not the only former believer urging prosecutors to lay criminal chargers to the leading scientists and news editors for knowingly inciting this needless panic of CO2 climate crisis. Climate Change wasn’t sustainability. It was a death threat and a criminal exaggeration.
U.S. Department of Justice 950 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington,DC 20530-0001
By Phone: Department of Justice Main Switchboard -202-514-2000
Office of the Attorney General Public Comment Line -202-353-1555
CALL THE COURT HOUSE, NOW!
Continued support of the CO2 mistake is hurting legitimate environmental efforts and social program advancements.
Meanwhile, the UN, the media, academia and progressivism and the entire SCIENCE world had allowed carbon trading stock markets run by corporations and politicians to trump 3rd world fresh water relief, starvation rescue and 3rd world education for just over 25 years of climate CONTROL instead of the obviously needed POPULATION control.

I am with you, I think. Your concern for "social program advancement" is heartwarming. Ooops, lets not say warming anymore. OK?
I am calling the court house 1st thing and telling them that the weather is just fine. Anyone who says it isn't should be prosecuted.
I am enjoying a nice comfortable summer here in the Pacific Northwest. I have no need of air conditioning anymore, the days are between the high 70s and the low 80. I remember when it used to be over 100 for weeks at a time. Now I need an extra blanket at night. I am cool, so the earth must be cool, which must make Al Gore wrong. My friend from Alaska who says that her local neighborhood glacier has gone missing must be wrong too.
The Columbia river has been dangerously high. But that is fine because we have a nice fat snowpack, well into the summer. It is too bad that rest of the country is swinging between massive floods, hurricanes, no rain for the crops, crazy heat, etc. Now that I have become a climate change denier, I feel wonderful. And I am looking forward to watching next years hurricane season on TV. Talk about Drama! It is Gods will. Don't worry, no climate change deniers will be harmed.
I just heard the most amazing thing; the earth is flat. Wow, I better call the courthouse, and tell them to prosecute anyone who thinks otherwise. I am sure that will increase my standing in the community.

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