Hey, watermelon!  Yeah, you.  Green on the outside, and commie pinko on the inside.  We’re on to you.  

We found out about your latest evil plan dictated by your UN masters.  No, not the one to tax us to death for carbon.  And not the one to infringe our liberties by telling us we can’t use toxic chemicals in our homes if we want to.  Something even more insidious.  

You want to force God-fearing Americans to sit on uncomfortable seats.  And get sweaty.  And wear silly helmets.  You’re part of the international conspiracy to promote … BICYCLE RIDING!

Don’t believe this is real?  Then you haven’t been listening to Dan Maes, a major party candidate for governor in Colorado.

He ripped the mask off of Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper’s plan to promote biking in town.  This bike-sharing plan apparently has the support of something sinister called the International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives – you know, the group whose members include other commie communities like Dallas, Texas, and Norfolk, Virginia, and Norman, Oklahoma, and Salt Lake City, Utah. 

The bike plan pretends to be about improving health and reducing air pollution.  But Maes told it like it is.  According to the Denver Post yesterday:

 – "Dan Maes says a Denver bike-sharing program could threaten residents’ ‘personal freedoms’ because it is part of an attempt to control U.S. cities."

 – "Maes said last week that an international environmental group that promotes Denver’s B-Cycle program is part of a ‘greater strategy to rein in American cities under a United Nations treaty.’"

– "Maes made the comments at a rally where he criticized Democratic Mayor John Hickenlooper’s initiative to increase bicycling in the Denver through the bike-sharing program. B-Cycle allows people to use about 400 bicycles at dozens of stations around the city for a daily or monthly fee."

– "’This is bigger than it looks like on the surface, and it could threaten our personal freedoms,’ Maes said." 

– Maes campaign spokesman "Nate Strauch told The Associated Press that Maes was trying to say that the biking initiative is a ‘gateway program’ being pushed by ECLEI on cities that eventually lead to extreme measures, such as the promotion of abortions and population control."

– "Maes said he thought promoting more bicycling was pretty harmless at first, but he realized later ‘that’s exactly the attitude they want you to have.’"

–  Maes campaign spokesman Strauch said "”It’s all part of this population control mentality that we as humans are the disease.’"

You’ve been warned.  Beware the biking-abortion-death panel conspiracy.  Make them rip you out of your Hummer when they pry your cold, dead fingers off the steering wheel.